State of Mind

I'm ripped between Alaska and Maine

Marge and I played at the opening of the Underground. 3/26

photo by - http://coreybienert.blogspot.com/

Pressure Point

Song: Slide - The Dresden Dolls

People like happy people.

If I push hard enough will you believe that I am truly happy?

Arctic Sounds

Song: A Life Of Arctic Sounds - Modest Mouse

five weeks left of school.

five weeks and my first year of college is over.

five weeks left seeing the same people everyday.

seven days five times in a row.

how do i make them worth while.

after these five weeks i don't know if i will ever be back on this side of the states. i don't know if i will ever see some of these people again. its so unclear. and i hope i'm grasping every last second to the fullest.

Glue

Song: Waiting For Magic - Blackblck

Have me inspire you.

Paste

Song: Ogre Mountain - Blackblack

Have you inspire you.

Water Bear

They can survive being heated to 151 °C or being chilled for days at -272 °C. They can endure 5700 grays of x-ray, where as, we can copewith about 5. They can also withstand the extremely high and low pressure of a vacuum.

Tough.

My future, that I don't even have thoughtfully planned out, is crashing down around me. I can't take this weight on my shoulders any more.

I will endure pushing myself harder than any other person; and still come out behind in the end.

Consistency of failure is said to make you stronger. But, it is slowly tearing me into pieces of the person I once was.

How can I be stronger if I am only part of what I was? How can I be sure of anything if my whole thought process is now being questioned? How can I be confident if everything I believe in, everything I stand for, everything I support, all my hopes, dreams, oppinions, and thoughts are inconsistent and confusing to others, so they are uncomprehensible and therefore wrong?

I can withstand someone telling me my outcome of hard work produced amazing results as well as another person saying the complete opposite; that my produced piece of mind is repulsive and unacceptable. Highs and Lows.

But I swear I'm going to cry. I'm sick of trying to be tough.

Askew

Song: evidence of your done wrong going through my head

Since you got time anyways

why not watch me hurt

thats right, I did nothing

you were the mean one

Vestal Light

Song: Inflammatory Writ - Joanna Newsom

You really don't want me to analyze that. I can push myself to get to the end of my brain and come out with words that mean nothing to you. You consistently tell me you don't understand what I'm saying, but it makes perfect since to me.

Gen 1:3

My text does incite that light and it is lit.

Ice Tea

Song: Lover's Spit - Broken Social Scene

Future

Song: The Hypnotists Son (Take2) - Emmy The Great

Rewind. Go backwards. Five years ago did you have today planned? Four years ago did you know what you were going to be doing this month, or year?

I want the correct answers to this test of life.

I just want to fill in the blanks and know that I'm passing.

Know that I am somewhat heading in the right direction.

I'm under a bridge because He didn't call.

If God could just send me a drawn out map in a bird's beak, would I really feel peace of heart?

Perfect as Cats

Firefly - BlackBlack

Our life's an adventure. We'll fight it together. What ever happened, it wouldn't matter, because we would drive away and laugh.

Bolder

In Fact - Gregory and the Hawk

Sleep deprivation and stressful emotions bring back memories I thought were buried deep in my head. There back. I want to blow them out my nose and never have them again.

Please Never come back.

Boar

Song: Beast - Okay

There's just one kind of love

No half hearted, only one type.

Stop pretending you know what it is.

You could never come close to being able to love like that.

Unless it was towards yourself.

Grades control my world.

I have a few points to elaborate on;

presentation is everything.

consistency is reliable.

I found a soulmate that has a vagina.

Cats Meow

Bridges and Balloons - Joanna Newsom

I like my friend Corey.

I like my friend Marge.

I like people from these snowfilled lands.

They are the cats meow.

Oh my love, oh it was a funny little thing to be the ones to have seen this side of me

Underthoughts

Song: Feed Your Sheep a Burning Lamp - Half-Handed Cloud

Honestly, a conversation only becomes awkward or, you don't know what to say next, once you start thinking those exact things. So stop thinking that way and just talk to me.